Classmates Plus Love Equals Trouble
by sachiroyurei
Summary: Rewritten due to plot changes. School's begun with the Uzumaki brothers moving in. With perverted teachers and yaoi fangirls as classmates, how would Itachi get Kyuubi's attention when Deidara is in love with him too? Lotsa crack pairs, look inside to see


A/N: This is Classmates rewritten because there were plot changes I wanted to make. I'm sorry for not updating any of my fics for two years. Some may notice that I have thrown away some of my Naruto fics. It is because I'm tired of chasing the storyline. Please understand my decision. I also thought that this time I would put in a lot of unusual, and some rather crack pairings in here. Like it, hate it, it's your choice. KakaIru (The most normal) SasoShu, ShikaNaru, InoHina (These are relatively normal), ItaKyuuDei, SasuKiba, ShinoGaa, NejiSai and AnkoTema (Very freaky, but fun to play with) so far.

Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me, or it would be converted to yaoi.

* * *

Chapter One: Skirting Issues

"Everyone, we have a new student in class today."

Itachi paid attention in class, as always. But he could hardly tolerate the lustful glances of his so-called fangirls. Five years of living under that sort of pressure made people think that Itachi could handle it. Unfortunately, they were wrong. Itachi knew naught about girls and depended on his friend Kisame to get rid of them for him.

"My name is Uzumaki Kyuubi, pleased to make your acquaintances."

Itachi held in a long insufferable sigh. If this rather…peculiar two-tone haired girl was to become another of his fangirl, he would seriously go out to the world and declare himself homosexual. And no, an Uchiha never jokes about this type of thing. "Kyuubi?! Is that you?" That declaration made heads turn. Kyuubi grinned. "Shu, it's been a while! You didn't tell me you studied here!" She strode over to Shukaku's desk, which were three desks behind Itachi. To everyone's shock, they nuzzled their noses together.

"Hey Shukaku, is that your girl?" A guy called from a corner of the class. The other students, particularly the girls were whispering. Not that they were doing a good job of it. Rather, they were gossiping in hushed voices which were plain audible. Shukaku laughed. "Me? I wouldn't date Kyuu in a thousand years to come. We're best buddies when I still stayed at Suna. That nose thing just now is our form of greeting each other. By the way Kyuu, what is with that outfit of yours?" Kyuubi had blonde hair with beautiful red streaks that particularly brought out the colour of her fiery eyes. Her eyes sparkled with mischief and promised much fun. She wore a nice long skirt and a white sweater. "Oh, I have a reason for this." She bent down and whispered to Shukaku, who nodded as she spoke.

"I see, no wonder you had to dress like that."

The homeroom teacher, Sarutobi-sensei coughed. "If you're done with the introductions then please sit behind Uchiha-kun, Uzumaki-san. Your English teacher will be in class shortly." The old man then left as the class broke into clamorous voices. Kyuubi blinked. "Shu, where does this Uchiha-kun sit?" "Oh, right there. Three seats in front of me so your seat should be two seats ahead of me," Shukaku replied. "Thank you Shu," Kyuubi gratefully replied and settle into her seat. Kyuubi then turned around to face her best friend. "So when did you start schooling here?"

"Since I moved here about three years ago. What about you? When did you return to Konoha?" Shukaku asked.

"Just about a week ago. I had to make sure the furniture was all transported here before starting school. Is Gaara studying here too?"

"Yeah. Is Naruto starting school today too?"

"Yes, I hope they meet each other in school. He is going to be so happy."

Still, Itachi thought it rude to ignore the new student. He was the Student Council President after all. "You have a brother?" He asked. Kyuubi turned to him, and two pairs of crimson eyes locked together. "Yes, he's studying in the junior high section, third year. His name is Uzumaki Naruto. Pleased to meet you, Uchiha…" Kyuubi held out her hand. Itachi shook it, finding the girl a tad more pleasant than the rest. "Itachi. Uchiha Itachi is my name. My brother studies in the same year, Sasuke. I hope you will find this school to be enjoyable."

Kyuubi smiled at his manners. "If the whole school has interesting characters like you, I'm sure it would be." A warning fangirl alarm went off in Itachi's mind. He withdrew his hand slowly. "By interesting, you would mean…?" "I've never seen someone keep a clay figure of a frog on his table before," Kyuubi simply replied, "It's rather cute." Itachi turned back to find said item on the table. He glared at the class' infamous clay moulder, Deidara, who snickered behind the back of his hand. Itachi handed Kyuubi the frog. "You can have it. It's not mine." "Thank you, I think Naruto would like this one. The boy has an unhealthy obsession with frogs," Kyuubi replied as she kept it in her desk.

Shukaku watched the whole exchange with interest. He nudged Kyuubi, whose attention returned to him. "I think he's taken an interest for you," he muttered into Kyuubi's ears. Kyuubi's eyebrows went up in mild surprise. "But Shu, can't he tell?" Shukaku laughed lightly. "Take no offence, but you seriously look pretty. Usually you look sexy or gorgeous but pretty was never your style." Kyuubi had a thoughtful look on her face before she grinned. "Oh well, if they don't ask there's no need to tell them."

* * *

"Class, this is a new student who will be joining us today," the homeroom teacher Ms. Shizune introduced. The blonde was dressed in a punk style but his features were rather delicate. He was a bit on the petite side, with crystal clear sapphire eyes. Three whisker-like scars accompany each cheek and he had a little grin on his face. Sasuke seriously thought he looked a little dumb. What's there to grin for anyway?

"Uzumaki Naruto here! I recently moved back to Konoha from Suna! Let's be friendly!" Naruto introduced himself.

"Still as loud as ever, Naru," the quiet voice from the back of the class made Naruto's ears perk.

"Gaara? Gaara, you study here? Oh this is great!" Naruto cheered and bounded over to Gaara, who held him at arm's length. "None of that now," Gaara warned. Naruto pouted. "But Gaara, we haven't met for three years!" He whined. Gaara pulled him close and whispered, "I'm sorry but later Naru. I have a reputation to protect as an insane murderous psychopath here."

Naruto's mouth formed an 'O' and he nodded. "Okay. So teacher, where do I sit?" Shizune looked down at the name list. "Your seat is behind Uchiha-kun. Uchiha-kun, please raise your hand." Sasuke tossed his hand into the air rather lazily. As Naruto took his seat, many girls around him fussed and sighed in despair. Naruto was pretty bewildered by the mass reaction around him. Gaara sent them all a glare and they hushed up immediately. "Uh, how do you do? What's your name?" Naruto asked kindly. Sasuke took a glance at Naruto. "Hn."

"Hey, I'm trying to be nice here and I get a half-ass reply? What sort of stick is stuck up your ass?" Naruto quipped in disbelief.

"Oh, that guy just insulted Sasuke-sama!" One of the girls proclaimed in a rather loud whisper. Naruto mentally checked that. Uchiha Sasuke, number one bastard, must avoid. If the guy refused to speak to him, so will he! He didn't have to futilely try with people like him. "Be quiet. Your Mathematic teacher will enter the class shortly," Shizune reprimanded and left the classroom. Naruto's smile returned again. Speaking of Math teacher, his guardian, or rather a father figure to the orphan; Iruka had made it into the school staff as a teacher.

"Gaara, does that mean Shu-nii is here too?" Naruto turned to the back and asked. Gaara nodded.

"That's good. I hope Kyuu-nii meets him," Naruto mused.

"Naru, if you do not want to go back to the old situation you had better stop talking to me," Gaara warned.

"As if I'm afraid of that," Naruto stuck his tongue out.

* * *

"Kyuu-nii, I met Gaara at school today! We're in the same class!" Naruto cheered. Kyuubi ruffled his brother's hair. "I met Shu too. He's coming over for dinner with Kurou, Mari and Gaara. So go and take a bath and we can make dinner. Ruka-nii is still busy at school. He should be back in time too," Kyuubi answered. "Really?!" Naruto wasted no time in running up to his room. Kyuubi laughed and went to take his own bath. When he was done and drying his hair, the phone rang.

"Hai, Uzumaki residence."

"Kyuubi, is that you?"

"Ah, Ruka-nii. Do you need anything?"

"Um, I'm inviting one of my colleagues over for dinner tonight. Can you cook extra?" Iruka asked.

Kyuubi raised an interested eyebrow. Colleague, eh? It's just the first day and he's bringing someone home already? "Sure, but who is it?"

"It's Kakashi-san," Iruka replied.

Kyuubi grinned. Calling the man by name so soon? "Okay, but Shu and his siblings are coming over too. So it's going to be a bit noisy. See you later, bye." Iruka put down the phone. "Kyuubi says it's just fine," Iruka informed the one eyed sensei. "Speaking of Kyuubi, is he the new student here?" Kakashi asked. "Yes. I am his guardian. Naruto is also under my care," Iruka answered as he shuffled through his new documents. "I heard from Sarutobi-rijichou that you used to travel all over the world giving lectures. What kind of lectures did you do?" Kakashi quipped.

"Oh, I did lectures for art. It was tough to have Naruto and Kyuubi travel around with me all the time. We did settle in Suna shortly though. Then we went to Kiri before coming to Konoha. We've decided to permanently stay here," Iruka replied politely. "Art, huh? But if you're good in art why are you teaching maths instead?" Kakashi sounded curious. "They have no need for anymore art teacher but they need a maths teacher so I took up the offer," Iruka stated.

The first moment Kakashi laid eyes on Iruka, he decided that it was love at first sight. Iruka was cute. Period. The scar across the bridge of his nose seemed to add to the young man's attractiveness. Kakashi had no idea that scars were an interest of his until he saw the dolphin. Plus, the guy was polite, kind and has a nice ass to boot. Iruka's face was a refreshing change from his normal humdrum school life as a teacher, though taking care of his nephews were a tab bit of interest. Which reminded him… "Iruka-san, I have to call my nephews and tell them I'm not coming home for dinner," Kakashi excused himself. "Okay. I'll wait here," Iruka replied with a smile.

"…So, who the heck is Kakashi?" Naruto asked.

"He's my English teacher and from what Shukaku says he's damn lazy and he reads porn novels. He's got a bandanna around his left eye and he wears clothes with collars that cover half his face," Kyuubi informed. Horror crept on Naruto's face. "Porn novels? And Ruka-nii wants to invite this guy home to dinner?" He nearly scalded his hand on the hot pot hearing that. They knew their foster father was a very vulnerable man. Both brothers take the task of inspecting Iruka's every friend to make none of them held a perverted interest towards their much loved guardian. Iruka was just too damn trusting for his own good! No offense, Naruto could trust people as easily as he could but if he ever caught a whiff of unwanted attention, Naruto would immediately deal with it, end of story.

"Yeah, so we must cross-examine him first before we can pass him on friend's list," Kyuubi stated, stir-frying vegetables as he stirred a pot of stew beside him. "I wonder what in the world made Ruka-nii invite him to our house on the very first day?" Naruto mused, adding salt into the bubbling soup. "Kakashi probably put up some show for him," Kyuubi snorted. "What?! Eww…Ouch!" Naruto groaned, sucking on his poor burned thumb. "Not that kind of show, you dirty-minded kid. And don't you dare continue cooking with saliva on your hand. Go wash it," Kyuubi ordered.

"What I meant was he probably hid the book, pretended to be some friendly guy and flattered Ruka-nii. That's how perverted minds work, get it? Now putting up 'that' kind of show is called horny," Kyuubi turned off the stove. The doorbell rang. "I'm going to get the door. Naru, set up the table," Kyuubi went out to the hall and opened the door. The moment he did, Shukaku came hurtling in, glomping Kyuubi and sending them both to the floor. "Ouch! Shu, do you have to do that?" Kyuubi groaned, propping himself up.

"But Kyuuuuuuuuuu, you look so damn irresistible in an apron!" Shukaku cheered. "There goes hormone Wonderboy," Temari mocked, stepping onto the house. "Temari, don't say such mean things about your brother!" Shukaku wailed. "Then you shouldn't be so touchy feely with your best friend, who's a guy. I don't really mind but isn't that why you're a man-magnet? And you complain about it," Temari said pointedly. Kyuubi got to his feet and pried Shukaku off. "Man-magnet? What do you mean?" Kyuubi's interest was caught.

Kankurou let out a short bark of laughter. "He is like the varsity queen of every prom since we moved here. He, my pal, outruns even the most popular girls in male admirers. Nice house, by the way." "Yeah, the numbers of fan letters everyday makes his locker explode. Valentine's Day, worse still. I'm lucky I have a girlfriend," Temari said. "Don't say it anymore! That experience is purgatory with feet!" Shukaku tried to shut Temari's mouth, but the younger girl tripped him. "What do they write?" Kyuubi has a lot of fun teasing his best friend. "You got to hear this. Ehem, Shukaku you are the most perfect creature to ever grace the unrefined halls of Konoha High. Your eyes sparkle like the aquamarine of the ocean's horizon. The pastel blue of your hair blends beautifully with the golden ochre of your crown…" At that point, Temari stopped reciting and started laughing her head off, Kyuubi joining in the process.

"Would you guys stop it? Don't abuse me…" Shukaku begged.

"Sure, uke of the year. You are completely hopeless. It's a wonder you're still a virgin after all that harassment," Kyuubi teased. Shukaku blushed and immediately changed subject. "Kankurou, where's Gaara?" "He's gone to the kitchen to see if he could help Naruto," Kankurou answered. "Yeah and thank goodness he did. Now we can wait for Ruka-nii and pervert sensei to come before we begin," Naruto fumed with Gaara by his side. "Naru…" Gaara nuzzled his nose. "Thanks for the cheer up," Naruto replied happily. Their nuzzling dated way back when they first met as kids. It was done in an effort to comfort, cheer up or just to greet each other. Naruto wasn't going to give up that tradition. Other than them, only Kyuubi and Shukaku did it. Temari says it's too fluffy while Kankurou says he won't be caught dead doing it.

"That pervert sensei?" Kankurou echoed in confusion. "Kakashi is coming here," Kyuubi stated. "Goodness, no! Did you know that guy actually winked at me when I screamed for help because I was surrounded by fan boys? And he walked away just like that! Thank god Deidara and Sasori saved me from the clutches of evil hormones!" Shukaku lamented. "You're the one emitting the hormones," Kankurou cut in. "Dumbass, that's pheromone," Temari interrupted. "Does this mean we get to play?" Gaara asked bluntly. "Yes, to your heart's content! I cannot believe Ruka-nii brought home a porn reader!" Naruto exclaimed. Just then the door swung open revealing the subject of their short-lived discussion.

"Naruto, did you shout something just now?" Iruka asked.

"Y-Yeah, just happy to see Gaara again," Naruto diverted. Alas for him, Kakashi had heard and he smirked at himself. 'Kids these days, they think they can actually derail me.' "Dinner's going to grow cold soon. Let's eat," Kyuubi kindly said. Temari liked it when he acted like that. He was like Fuji Syusuke from Prince of Tennis. Ah, she loved that anime. Many bishonens to pair up for her fangirl fantasies. Her current project was to find a suitable boyfriend for Shukaku.

During dinner, Temari asked a very simple question. The game has started. "Kakashi-san, am I correct to assume that you were just acquainted with Iruka-san today?" Kakashi smiled at his student. "Yes, of course." "Are you in any relationship? Have you been in one before?" Gaara asked. "No and no. I'm a happy and healthy single man," Kakashi replied almost cheerfully. Kankurou came out with a trick question. "Where's that Icha Icha Paradise of yours? You hold it like some life treasure." Iruka's eyes narrowed. "You read that novel?"

'Oh shit.'

"A-Ah, I have to help Jiraiya-san proofread it for any grammatical mistake," Kakashi made up and excuse.

"You know Jiraiya-san? Well, his grammar was never quite strong…" Iruka had totally fallen for it.

"Do you know him as well?" Kakashi questioned.

"Yes. He is…An old friend of the family," Iruka found it very hard to put Jiraiya's relation to him in words. Like a guardian, or a grandfather, or a very close friend to the family. Something like that. Naruto inwardly cursed. He could see vibes of perversion coming of Kakashi. Even a blind man could feel it! Kyuubi was impressed.

* * *

"Sasuke, Kakashi isn't coming back for dinner tonight. He said he was eating at a colleague's house," Itachi told his brother. "Right," Sasuke curtly replied as he made dinner. Itachi mused for a while. "Sasuke, would you happen to know Uzumaki Naruto?" "Yes, he said I have a stick up my ass," Sasuke snapped a little. He was rude! Itachi smirked. "A very difficult one to pull out as well." "Shut up, Itachi. Why do you ask?" Sasuke questioned.

"His sister is in my class," Itachi replied as he set the table. 'Sister…? I thought he had a brother,' Sasuke soon shrugged the thought off. Maybe Naruto had more than one sibling.

The next day, Itachi suffered headache. His fangirls were stepping up on the wooing attempts. Why? Because they were jealous of Kyuubi. Maybe he shouldn't have been too friendly with her yesterday. Where was Kisame when you needed him? "You girls go away, un! You're suffocating him, un!" Deidara shooed the girls away. "Thank you," Itachi managed. Deidara annoyed him at times, but he was a good friend. Still, his fangirls hovered nearby like hawks, until Kisame's voice boomed, "Get out of the way!" Itachi was about to ask Kisame why he wasn't in class earlier when his eyes travelled to the person riding on Kisame's right shoulder.

He wore form fitting black slacks with a white shirt. The first two buttons were undone revealing alabaster skin and a rather toned collarbone. A red tie was tied loosely around the neck. This…guy had long blonde hair with streaks of fire and wore what looked like orange eyeliner. His crimson eyes were bright and reflective. Deidara had unconsciously begun to drool and Sasori sighed as he used tissue to swipe it away before his best friend got embarrassed. "He's good-looking, un…" Deidara was lost in the deep eyes.

"Here you go, princess," Kisame put the guy down. "Is it okay for your reputation to say that, Same?" He asked in a rather mirthful manner. "Makes me more notorious. What about your reputation?" Kisame replied in the same manner. "It's a quirk to be unique," the guy answered with a wide smile. "A-Ano, are you new here?" One of the girls asked shyly. The guy blinked at her and answered, "No, I came yesterday." Just then, Shukaku entered class. "Oh, morning there gorgeous." He nuzzled the guy. Itachi was disturbed by the awful familiarity.

"You wouldn't happen to be…Uzumaki Kyuubi?" He asked.

"Oh, here's one that recognizes me," Kyuubi grinned. "B-But you wore a skirt yesterday!" Kidoumaru stuttered. "Yeah, sorry about making you all think I'm a girl. I lost a bet and my brother ordered me to attend first day of school in a skirt. But seriously, did I look that girly?" Kyuubi joked good-humouredly. "Sure took you a fuckin' lot of guts to do that kind of stunt," Tayuya complimented. "You look really like a girl when your hair is tied up b-but now that you let it all down, you look wonderful, un," Deidara acted like a shy schoolgirl. Sasori wanted to smack his head and wonder when did his best friend turned so girly though he insisted he was a guy while looking female himself. Kyuubi thought Deidara's antiques were adorable.

"You'd be sexy too if you let your hair down and tuck this away," Kyuubi said as he swept Deidara's bangs away, tucking it behind his ear. Deidara's face was hot and he scrambled to get behind Sasori. "Um, thanks, un." Shukaku groaned. "Do you have to do that?" "Hey Uzumaki, are you gay?" One of the guys yelled. "Kyuubi's just fine. I'm bi and if you feel sick stay away. If you're interested in trying, go ahead but I won't guarantee reciprocation of feelings!" Kyuubi loudly declared, "And I'm a sucker for romantics! Don't try using physical assets to seduce me! Except hair, I have a hair fetish! And don't mind the make-up, it adds to my masculinity!"

"…Why do you call him princess, Kisame?" Itachi asked as various reactions broke out in class.

"I knew him back at Kiri. He came and went because of his guardian's job. When he was a kid, scrawny I tell you. Like two heads shorter than me and acted like a princess alright. So I carried him around on my shoulder, it makes him happy. But don't let the looks fool you. He can kick ass when he wants to," Kisame explained. Kisame looked down at Itachi and smirked. Itachi was smitten with Kyuubi and he could tell. Why? On Itachi's face was an expression that looked like Sasuke put on bikinis and screamed that he was a G-String lover to the whole world. That twisted, yup. Because you don't see Itachi look lovestruck.

Deidara by the way was trying to cool his face down. Kyuubi just admitted he was bi and had a hair fetish. Did this mean Kyuubi just flirted with him? "Deidara, you are overreacting," Sasori muttered. "Shut up, Sasori and go molest Shukaku," Deidara shot back. Sasori went silent for a while. Yes, he liked the sandy blended with blue haired boy. But he had no guts to admit, and he knew Shukaku was intimidated at any sort of affectionate action from guys except Kyuubi it would seem.

Shock probably couldn't describe what he was experiencing right now.

Naruto can throw tantrums. And if he was really pissed to that stage, no one can stop him. Not even Iruka or Kyuubi for that matter. Prince of all bastards Sasuke had just insulted him. For no damn good reason. Naruto had been about to throttle said stoic bastard when someone said, "This is so troublesome." Distracted, Naruto turned to the speaker. A rather lazy guy was sprawled over his desk. And looking, just by looking at that bored face, his anger went out faster than someone can shout, "Hell yeah!" He totally forgot about Sasuke. "You're funny," Naruto said and poked Shikamaru. He didn't react. Naruto poked again. "What do you want?" Shikamaru cracked an eye open, annoyed.

"What's your name?" Naruto was curious.

"Nara Shikamaru, okay?" Shikamaru answered and went back to sleep.

Naruto went back to staring at Shikamaru's sleeping face. "Don't worry about him. Shikamaru's always sleeping," another boy said and stuck his hand out to Naruto. "Inuzuka Kiba, nice to meet ya!" Naruto firmly shook the hand. "Same here!" Something wriggled under Kiba's jacket. Suddenly, a rice white head popped out. "Oh, this is Akamaru, my best friend!" Kiba introduced. "Can you bring animals to school, dog boy?" Naruto teased. Kiba grinned. "Why not, fox boy?" They were good friends instantly. Sasuke was upset. Why, you ask? It was a well guarded secret that Sasuke had a crush on Kiba.

He had no idea what made him attracted to the dog lover when he was loud, annoying and rather boastful. Just, there was one day when Sasuke was heading home. He had heard laughter while passing the park. He went to see who was laughing when he saw it. Kiba was playing in the artificial rain made by the sprinklers with his dog, Akamaru. It was such a Kodak moment. It was that which made Sasuke see Kiba in an entirely different light. And now Naruto was acting all chummy with Kiba. He swore that Naruto came to make his life a living hell.

* * *

How was that for a rewritten version? I like Deidara, he is so cute! And damn Kyuubi, being so naughty! Kakashi, capital P for pervert! We shall welcome senior high freshmen and the king of the jungle, ahem I mean gym in the next chapter! Please review! 


End file.
